pengen kurus

uuuhhh.. akhir-akhir ni bt deh ama berat badan yang naik terus, apalgi sejak ngelahirin.. ga banget.. huhuhuuhu.. pengen nurunin 8 kg aja tapi kayanya susah banget deh... heeellllllppppp

Prayer

My good Lord in Heaven maybe I'm not your good child and i often forgot to pray i know i hurt your feeling a lot and I'm not obey your command for that forgive me Lord.. But.. Dear Lord.. i need your loving hand, i desperately need your interfering Good God.. how i can deal with this I'm just a human with no power n strength see my son God, look at him God give him a good place and loving people around him I'm so sad because i have to be separated from him My Jesus please lead me, please know me and please help us i don't know what to do coz i don't have any shelter, i don't have anything I'm longing for your mercy over Jovan and us.. God help us.. wipe my tears.. give us light, give us way.. help me dear Lord

Introduce my son

His name is Jovan Nicholas L tobing, Born in October 21, 2010... My charming Prince

how can i ???

How can I... make u out of my mind.. i want to live without remember u again... i want to start a new page, but i became such a hypocrite. when things went wrong.. i only want to chase u to make me calm.. in your world is a place where i feel safe i realize... All those moments behind, means so much for me, i cry on it cause i never appreciate it b4.. I know everything is to late now n I'm tight up to my new commitment now.. n i have already promise my self to be a better person n I'm not gonna ruin it now.. I'm not gonna breaks anyone heart because of my egoism again.. thou still u wont go away from my head. Maybe this is the price i should pay..

Susahnya jadi orang dewasa

Dulu siy enak, waktu jaman SMA, ga da kepikiran apa2... ga kerasa waktu mengalir, masa SMA udah 12 tahun yang lalu.. (getting old) Sekarang yang ada ruwet ama pikiran2 yang katanya pikiran orang dewasa... mikirin kerjaan, mikirin nyari duit, mikirin ngidupin diri sendiri, mikirin kehidupan pribadi,,, wehhh banyak banget... lum lagi + masalah2 yang berdatangan tanpa dipanggil (mang jalangkung) + deh ruwetna..

lucu yah.. kirain dulu jadi dewasa tuh enak bisa ambil keputusan sendiri, boro-boro... ngambil keputusan sendiri tuh mana ada enaknya.. yang ada malah pusing salah nentuin ya tanggung akibatnya sendiri... cuma ya inilah resikonya jadi dewasa.. mau ga mau kudu dijalanin, susah ga susah ya ditelen, toh kalo hepi juga qta yang ngerasain..

"Feels Like Home"

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself

Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms

There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast

Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been

And how long I've been so alone

And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along

And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street

And a siren wails in the night

But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me

And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me

And how long I've waited for your touch

And if you knew how happy you are making me

I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong



Songs by Chantal K. Wish i can feel that feeling too..

My status now.

Kerja di sebuah restaurant di bandung, jadi marketing ceritanya.. enjoy my job, happy with my job.. hehehe..

for the moment, kerjaan adalah satu hal yang bikin pikiranku positif saat ini...

missing something..

Miss my friends, miss the time we shared before, they all gone now, continuing their llife with their own problems and their new life, leaving me behind.. Girls i Love u guys.. i miss us. miss the laugh, the cry, all the crazy things we've done...

Hello Again

Hehhehe.. its been a long time i dont check my blog.. but my head is empty so i dont have anything to write on..

That's what friends are for

And I never thought I'd feel this way

And as far as I'm concerned

I'm glad I got the chance to say

That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away

Well then close your eyes and try

To feel the way we do today

And then if you can remember ...

Keep smiling, keep shining

Knowing you can always count on me, for sure

That's what friends are for

For good times and bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

That's what friends are for

Well you came and opened me

And now there's so much more I see

And so by the way I thank you

And then for the times when we're apart

Well then close your eyes and know

These words are coming from my heart

And then if you can remember ...

Keep smiling, keep shining

Knowing you can always count on me, for sure

That's what friends are for

In good times and bad times

I'll be on your side forever more

That's what friends are for

God..

When I looked at my past, i seen one soul so empty, dark mind filled with emotional and ego

I was a selfish person and full of anger, have no patience at all, what worst of it is that i do things that are not right, all things that not appropriate, and i cant count how many sins i made, the wrong desicion that makes my life darker n darker.

Thats my past. all that i have is not mine, my laugh is not from the heart, its all shadowed and blur, everything i do is a mess

Then in one point, I realized that i'm just a human, God creates me and gave me a change to live and find the meaning of lilfe. God put me in His attemp, i cried so hard and i almost cant figured how i escape from all this. But maybe thats what God wants me to see. For me to come back to the ground. Start a new life, to do things He likes and to worship HIm. I'm nobody, and i dont wanna live my life like a zombie anymore.

Thank You God for givin me another change to lilve my life, to struggle it with a good soul, to adore You. Here i'm giving you my life, fill it anyway You want me, Use me as Your tools. Enter my life once again, I admit you as as my Guardian and savior. Help me God so I can be a human that You smile.

Pikiran hamba

Tak lebih dari sekedar hamba.. bernafas dan hidup dari kaki dunia.. penuh kotoran dan air mata.. hanya mencoba bertahan, dalam penatnya angan-angan yang kian pupus.. Tak lebih dari sekedar hamba.. mengabdi pada bumi... mengharap sesuap bekal berharap mimpi jadi nyata..

The Ocean

I'm heading to the ocean,

i don't know where the wave will flow me.

I know i'm scared but i'm ready to have my journey across the ocean,

no matter the storm may knock me down,

or the wind can tear my boat,

or my boat crashed to the rocks.

I believe i can make it somehow,

and my boat will sail all the way,

trough the ocean..

cause i know i have you as my partner..

It Takes what it takes

You throw everythings u have,

for someone you think good enough for u???

ooo so stupid or are u too idiot???

pushing your own luck for what they called love????

man.. where is your mind.

you had everything.. i called it live n good..

why u choose to stuck with it???

u said "It takes What it Takes"

how silly is that in this time of life???

enjoy it!! suck with it... hope u happy!!

mirror

Some feeling can be express and some feeling just cant be express

Cos u don't know where to put the feeling and the shape of it

I learn that i don't always get what i want n what i need, i tried to leave it in God Hand, cos i know He'll find the way for me, and in this universe i just follow the life He has given me, and tried to be good, though i know i'm not His good mankind.

What i felt is like staring at something u like, but u cant have it by any reason, and i tried to be adult, not crying it outloud just silence and letting it go, i know i have something that i cant let go not because of something new i liked. And for sure its difficult cos i'm a type of a person that always have what i want without consider the effect of it, but now i have to learn to accept what i have and not being such a selfish person anymore..

Time 4 me

You know the color of Grey and Black? thats my color right know, despite i'm happy with my job now, but i' m not happy with my life right now, and nobody sees it or even people that close to me...

Need my time alone to find whats beneath my self, find who is me, and what i wanna do with my life. i just wanna be "alone" not that i'm selfish, but i dont want to think about anything then my job, i dont wanna talk bout love, dont wanna care about hearts, i'm so sick of that. how i able to love ones if i cant figure my self. its not that i'm evil or mean, but here i'm crying my soul, i need a space for me.

After i broke up with my boyfriend last year i promise my self that i wanna be alone for a while, till i can find my self, but it turns up i messing my promise. I tried to follow the flow, but i guess it makes me uncomfortable now. It blocks every turn i want to make, and somehow i tied with it.

Is it my mistake? what have i done? why i keep doing my mistake.. i just dont wanna tied with anything and anybody right now, can i just be alone with my world now? can i get a room for my self? can anyone not pushing me for what i dont want now? is it to big to asked? i'm sorry if i make a mistake or let anyone down, but i only have this moment, this one time in my life to think of my self, and can i wish it to came true? I just tired and i need a freedom of my self...

My O My

Life is a journey, from the day u were born till the day u closed your eyes eternally.

And in your journey its your decision to choose the road u take, and take the consequence, its all depend on you. There is no word regrets for what u believe and choose, if u took one way then commit to it.. don't ever regret it, Thats what i mean with consequence.

In my journey, sometimes i mess up, and i cry, but i never regret every thing i do, cause thats my color, it show and made who i am right now, made me what i become. Though sometimes peoples said that i was wrong, and i'm a bitch, then let them said what they wanna says, for me my life is what i wanna do and what God will say about it, not what people says. if i fail i try to get up, and even if i fail again and again i try not givin up, and even my tears dropin out all the way, I always know my God watching over me and will see how i fight this life, so i guess i never afraid to fail, to cry, and to be hurt.

Let God be my jury and let Him decide my rights and wrong...

WHY

All this time... I though it will come to an end, an end like i wishes 2.. but i gues not every wishes i made come true, maybe i wish to hard, and i wish it in a wrong place, But dont answer my heart if it ment nothing, Coz from the start u know how i afraid to get hurt again.. Why u love me but u dont want me... Why...

The Past, Present and Future

Three things that have connection to each other. lots of things i wanna share about this three things.. but.. later maybe..

Forgive n Forgiven

Maybe i cant act or speak like an angel, maybe i never know how to express what i had inside, but its not right for u to judge me so unkindly, after all the time, after what we ever had before, its make me sad to heard it.

Lets forgive and forgiven, so the memories will stay beautiful.

Maybe i do u wrong, maybe once or two i hurt your heart, but lets close all the hurts and try to looked all the beautiful times we had back then, let me and let u close all the stories with open heart, no anger and no shallow.